Oh Baby-Part 1

Generally, when I leave the house in the morning, my outfit/hair/make up seem like a good idea. I left the house that way, so it must have looked okay at 7 am. Isn't it funny how these same seemingly good choices can be startling when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a random mirror around noon. Pure horror and then "what was I thinking this morning?".

Maybe it's the swingy, choppy bob hair cut you got that you thought you blew out just like the stylist this morning. You catch a look around 2 pm, and it suddenly looks like a George Washington wig.

Or your new pants that said "mid-rise" on the tag, not so much. You find yourself doing some sort of awkward mix of lunge/crab walk to get something out of your bag during a meeting because if you bend at the waist you will give everyone a peep show.

Back to hair. The new volumizing shampoo that made your hair full just that same morning now looks like a frizzy bird's nest.

The make up that looked perfectly professional in your bathroom mirror looks very vegas show girl in the natural light.

The business like button down shirt that is all business becomes un-done at the second button, making everyone at the important meeting wonder if you are showing the top of your bra on purpose.

We've all had these wardrobe malfunctions. Perhaps the worst thing that could happen to a women, the worst calling out of a fashion error, is that horrible question: "Are you pregnant?". Gasp.

This happened to me one day when I was wearing what I thought was a trendy A-line cut top. Swingy, stylish, with all the structure and shape of a slanket/snuggie. To the poor stranger's credit, we were in the vitamin aisle and I was in the women's vitamin section, suspiciously near the pre-natals while looking for women's plus calcium.

Yep, he asked the question. I looked him right in the face and said "Nope, but I will go home and burn this sweater and eat an entire carton of ice cream, so thanks".