Awkward

In my life as a corporate gypsy, I am often called upon to give presentations to large groups of people. Now, I don't mind it so much, but I would rather work with folks individually, as I feel my strength is getting to know them one on one. I don't so much hate public speaking to large groups, it's more that I can sense how ineffective it is. Especially while they are eating lunch or something like that. It's not fun to stand up at a podium while people are eating salads and avoiding eye contact with you.

I had to present to about 100 people (while they were eating lunch) a few months ago. A couple of my colleagues were there, not to help or anything, just to cause confusion mostly. We got there ridiculously early to set up my equipment and make sure everything was working. After using all of my jedi like concentration to get my laptop & projector hooked up and working, I was standing at the podium (I have total mixed emotions about the podium, on the one hand, it's weird, on the other it is at least a place to perch your stuff), getting myself in order. My co-worker steps back and says "you need to test the microphone".

I also have mixed feelings about the microphone. I have never learned how to project my voice, so when I talk loudly, I do strain my voice and that is hard to sustain for an entire hour's presentation. Also when you are competing with the clanging of forks and such, it's pretty much necessary. The only downside to the mic is that I feel like a total televangelist or Phil Donahue with it. It also only compounds my southern accent, making me probably need subtitles to those non-native North Carolinians.

So I turn it on and we start testing it. It appears to be working, but it is attached to the podium and far away from my mouth, so I have to lean in a little. We start fiddling with it and get it a little closer. My co-worker takes this opportunity to tell me (and at this point we are about to start, people are starting to file into the room), "I can hear you okay, but you look really awkward". Great, thanks. 100 people and you are going to tell me this right now? So supportive.

Anyway, by this time yet another co-worker has joined us and we all decide this microphone situation must be solved (with all of 3 minutes until our start time). We are fiddling around w/ cords and plugs, and we start making casual conversation. This is a transcript of our earth shattering conversation:

One of them says, "I went hunting last weekend, got some great deer meat".
"Wow", I say, "did you cook any yet?".
"Yes, my wife put some in the crock pot".
My other co-worker, "Did she make stew?
Me: "OH, I love a stew".
Other co-worker: "Me too, did it have those tiny carrots".
And so on.

Our yankee manager at the time walks in and says, "Hey rednecks, your mic is on".

So we talked about deer stew in front of our audience, making my awkward-ness the least of our worries. I still will say, that could have been much worse. I mean we could have been discussing something much more embarrassing than tiny carrots.