Thursday, August 26, 2010

Elevators

As my 7 year old nephew shared with me last week (in defending why he does NOT care for this particular artist), Justin Bieber is afraid of elevators. Now, feel how you want about Justin Bieber, but I agree with Chelsea Handler that Justin did single handedly take down the Jonas Brothers, and for this we should thank him.

Anyway, I digress, but unlike Justin, I love elevators. Especially when in one by myself. It is a tiny capsule of time just to yourself. If it's metallic, you can check your reflection. There's all kinds of things you can do in an elevator, but mostly I just slump against the wall, relieved to have a moment to myself. I do not have to smile, make small talk, feign interest in mundane topics, etc. If I'm really exhausted and am headed to a pretty high floor, sometimes I will even squat or sit down. Of course you then run the risk of the elevator stopping, someone getting on and looking at you like you are crazy. Worry not, just say something clever like, "I was just tying my shoe". Even though you have on high heels.

We have a saying about elevators on my team at work, "Don't celebrate until you get on the elevator". Which means if a customer meeting is going particularly well, do not look at your colleague and smile. Do not give them a look that says "hee hee, we are going to make all kinds of money on this!". Now this sounds like common sense but at the end of a long fight for business, it is tempting. So anyway, you want to keep your poker face on until a safe distance from the customer.

I have always observed this rule because I want other people to observe it with me. I do not want to be at Verizon buying a phone, and when I agree to sign up for a texting plan, the sales guy starts high fiving people. That just doesn't seem right.

So, I was with one of my colleagues when one particularly hard fought deal finally closed. It took forever and at this point I didn't even think it would happen, but there it was, actually happening.

We walked slowly to the elevator (and this is one of those offices where the elevator opens right up to the lobby, no hallway), excitement exuding from us, but we are observing the rule. We get in the elevator, he presses the button, and the door closes. Once it does, we both start dancing. Now, let me say this, I'm not much of a dancer. I might do a little jig if I find a $5 bill in my coat pocket or something, but it's rare.

I wouldn't have really pegged my coworker for one either, but he broke into something right out of the soul train line. It was really impressive. I don't know if I can really describe it, but every time I think about it, I hear the Sanford & Son theme song. It was really funky for a white guy.

I, on the other hand, did more a kung-fu robot sort of thing. I'm not proud of it.

Well, we are way into our celebratory dance, and the door prematurely re-opens. Someone at our customer's office has hit the "down" button before we get the chance to take off. What ensued was great improvisation on our part. I put my arms up over my head and landed in some sort of yoga stretch, saying "wow, are my shoulders tight" (of course I said it in my dishonest-3 octaves too high-voice). My coworker fell mid-groove quite nonchalantly up against the wall, like he was just hanging out, leaning sideways.

All we got was a really strange look, thankfully. So beware, elevator celebrators!

1 comment:

  1. You may have to change this to the one floor down rule whether by elevator, stairs, inconvenient fall..

    ReplyDelete

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