Metrosexuals

I like men to look and act like men. The straight ones, that is. There, I said it. I don't want them getting pedicures, or highlights or anything like that. In fact, I think the fanciest sort of hair place a man should go to should be great clips or super cuts, and actually they should really go to a barber. This is my personal opinion, and I think it would cut down a lot of confusion.

I had a co-worker who, unknown to me, was a total metrosexual. I ASSumed he was gay. I'm telling you, you would have too. He had perfectly highlighted hair (I was actually jealous of his hair color!), really stylish square toe Kenneth Cole shoes (do most straight men even know these kinds of shoes exist, let alone where to procure them??), manicured hands, stylish glasses, etc. It did not cross my mind that he could possibly be straight.

We also both loved to cook and would share recipes. I don't mean recipes like "here's my mom's chili". I mean fancy things, crudites, for goodness sakes, crudites!!

So I was working in this guy's building for some time, and would occasionally drop by his desk, chat, probably lean over on him while pointing to the computer screen pretty inappropriately come to think of it (again, thought he was gay).

One day I noticed a picture of him & a woman as his desktop wallpaper. "Who is that, your sister?", I innocently asked. "No, that's my girlfriend". Your WHAT now? Your GIRLFRIEND. It could not be possible. I stammered on, "Like your close friend that is a girl, like 'hey, girlfriend'?". "No" he looks at me, puzzled, "my actual girlfriend".

I wondered off in amazement. So, ladies, be careful. Do not assume that good hair, stylish accessories, and a love for Martha Stewart means that you've found a fun new friend. It could be a straight guy, in designer clothing.