Piercing the Corporate Ear

"Piercing the corporate veil" is a legal term of art. The formal definition is disregarding the corporate entity. That sounds very complex and probably something that most of us wouldn't really want to involve ourselves in.

How about getting your ears pierced? Seems simple, right? A lot of people do it when they are 8 or 12, and really have no bad memories about it. Oddly enough, I'd never had my ears pierced. So, I decided, a the ripe age of 33, that I would do it. My friend went with me to the mall, got it done, everything went great.

Until. Until it was time to take them out and start wearing real earrings. Now let me assure you, I was vigilant in my application of the alcohol solution and turning the earrings. I did all the right things.

I take out the earrings. Left ear okay, right one not. Swollen, red, not good. I go back to the ear piercing place. Well, it's infected. Let it heal (for 3 months!) and start over. I'm very upset. I was having a particularly bad day and just added "unable to get ears pierced like most other humans" to my list of failures.

My husband has the ingenious idea that while the right one is healing, I can sleep with something in my left one at night. That way, when re-piercing time comes, I'll only have to do the right one. This seems very smart. Why re-do them both? So, I sleep with one earring in every night. Sometimes I forgot to take it out and leave the house like this. Like a pirate.

3 months pass. I go to the mall, all elated to try again on round 2. I get there and the lady patiently explains to me that not letting the other one heal was a huge mistake. Because of the infection and scar tissue left in the right ear, they will have to pierce it a little further back. So if I go ahead and do it, my holes will not be symmetrical. Her advice, "now let the left one heal for 6 months" and start from scratch with both ears.

I'm devastated. The first set back was enough, now this! I have actual cute earrings just waiting in my jewelry box to be worn! So, I leave the mall defeated. I take out all earrings and decided to just do nothing with them for a while. Maybe I'll try again in a year or so and hopefully they have both healed enough. It's very depressing.

Believe me, it is not lost on me that parents with (in my opinion) questionable judgment pierce the ears of their infants and they are able to do it. Infants one, me zero.